I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
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Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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