How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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