I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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