Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
