dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
handjob tips. give me some.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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