Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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