You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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