hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
