It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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