Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You took a bar mat shot.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Randomize
