thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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