I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
