Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
