She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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