Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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