i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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