ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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