I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
