last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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