he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
