Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
