The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
