Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
