i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i need to put some appletini on your dick
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
