I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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