Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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