I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
