I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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