VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
