Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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