Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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