i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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