Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
