she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
