i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
