I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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