No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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