Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
