drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
