I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize