Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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