"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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