so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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