please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
