I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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