YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
