I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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