Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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