There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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