Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
All I want is dick and wine.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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