You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
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Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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