were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize