I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
