this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The uberlube is also flammable
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
