we have officially lost it.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
