screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
