But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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