i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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