we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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