I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
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His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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