Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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