I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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