If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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